💀 The Bastard's Picks

Salty by Nature. Bastard by Choice.

Our merch ain’t just clothing — it’s a lifestyle. Made for those who live loud, fish hard, and don’t apologise for it. Limited drops. Always bastard-approved.

WHY SHOP BASTARD?

:🚚 Fast Delivery


We ship fast — like, hook-in-the-water-before-the-sun’s-up fast.

Orders leave our Melbourne HQ quick-smart, and you’ll get tracking faster than your mate bails on bait duty.

Free delivery on orders over $99. Simple as that.

🔁 Returns


Didn’t land the right catch?

You’ve got 30 days to send it back — unused, unbroken, and unsoiled by squid ink.

If it’s our stuff-up, we’ll fix it. If it’s yours… we’ll still sort you out (but we might roast you a bit first).

💳 Payment & Security


We take your money like we take our fishing — seriously.

Pay with Afterpay, PayPal, Apple Pay, card, or whatever tap-tap thing you use.

Encrypted, secured.

🎣 Join the Bastard Crew (Affiliate Program)


Wanna get paid to be a salty legend?

Join our affiliate crew and earn 10% commission every time someone bites your link.

No contracts, no sales quotas, no BS.

Just spread the word and reel in the cash.